For most men, the easiest 24 hours of marriage might begin with "I do." Let's face it: after that, you get cake and, well, the big event! (I admit that for many people these 24 hours can be hard if things don't quite work; and in grave, horrifyingly-common situations across the globe, weddings are tragic. Think: forced marriages. Better yet: pray for them and perhaps find ways to help people out of them!)
But for our purposes, let's take a quasi-Hollywood-style setting where the couple wants to get married, does get married, and has a great wedding night. (Second detour: Most Hollywood relational rubbish is anti-God, anti-wisdom, and frankly, anti-marriage -- and can walk the plank right here!)
Lots of good writers have addressed phase two of the marriage: post-honeymoon. Life can get hard; people can change; money problems can arise; lust can surface; envy can invade; bitterness can destroy; in-laws can hurt; sex can change from a problem-solver to a problem-causer; boredom can set in; quirks can irritate; and kids can take over. And all that can develop alongside health problems, different backgrounds, or conflicting beliefs and interests. Christian or non-Christian? Jump on board!
As I said, books are devoted to these topics, and either you and I have read some of them -- or we need to! Tip 1: Find ones that address core issues, not just quick fixes or surface-level symptoms. It all comes down to where our own heart is before God and toward our spouse -- both on a daily and long-term basis. Tip 2: Any advice that contradicts loving your wife selflessly and with a servant's heart is probably forgettable.
I want to focus on one issue for men that I've only just discovered in the Bible. I am slowly learning about it, and I am even more slowly remembering to put into practice. We all want our wives to "submit" to us, right? And we all want a wife who "respects" us, yes? And none of us like it when our wives remind us that we're supposed to submit "to one another," correct? (All quotes are from Ephesians 5.) After all, that might come off as if they're ignoring their job or they think we're ignoring ours, huh?
Well, if respect is a sign of submission -- which I think it is according to Paul's summary in Ephesians 5:33 -- and if we men are supposed to be the leaders of our families (see 1 Timothy 3, for example), then we should exemplify the respect we want and need by first giving it to our wives!
There's the golden nugget...and again, I've got a long way to go...ask my beautiful bride! But the details, role models, and how-to's will follow in the next several posts. Keep reading!
But for our purposes, let's take a quasi-Hollywood-style setting where the couple wants to get married, does get married, and has a great wedding night. (Second detour: Most Hollywood relational rubbish is anti-God, anti-wisdom, and frankly, anti-marriage -- and can walk the plank right here!)
Lots of good writers have addressed phase two of the marriage: post-honeymoon. Life can get hard; people can change; money problems can arise; lust can surface; envy can invade; bitterness can destroy; in-laws can hurt; sex can change from a problem-solver to a problem-causer; boredom can set in; quirks can irritate; and kids can take over. And all that can develop alongside health problems, different backgrounds, or conflicting beliefs and interests. Christian or non-Christian? Jump on board!
As I said, books are devoted to these topics, and either you and I have read some of them -- or we need to! Tip 1: Find ones that address core issues, not just quick fixes or surface-level symptoms. It all comes down to where our own heart is before God and toward our spouse -- both on a daily and long-term basis. Tip 2: Any advice that contradicts loving your wife selflessly and with a servant's heart is probably forgettable.
I want to focus on one issue for men that I've only just discovered in the Bible. I am slowly learning about it, and I am even more slowly remembering to put into practice. We all want our wives to "submit" to us, right? And we all want a wife who "respects" us, yes? And none of us like it when our wives remind us that we're supposed to submit "to one another," correct? (All quotes are from Ephesians 5.) After all, that might come off as if they're ignoring their job or they think we're ignoring ours, huh?
Well, if respect is a sign of submission -- which I think it is according to Paul's summary in Ephesians 5:33 -- and if we men are supposed to be the leaders of our families (see 1 Timothy 3, for example), then we should exemplify the respect we want and need by first giving it to our wives!
There's the golden nugget...and again, I've got a long way to go...ask my beautiful bride! But the details, role models, and how-to's will follow in the next several posts. Keep reading!
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