My Toddler Doesn’t Know the Word “Stupid” Yet…So I’d Better Not Teach Him

Have you ever stopped to think about how many stupid things or situations exist in the world? A bad driver, a dull knife, a cantankerous computer, a dropped bolt, a barking dog, a lost remote, a dead battery, a flat tire, a cloudy day, a tardy taxi, a bad call, a political blunder, or a news report.

All these things—and more—I quite easily and readily call “stupid.” I often trade the descriptive adjective like “dull” or “late” for the slighting adjective such as “dumb” or “idiotic.” But lately, I have noticed the presence of my attentive two-year-old son during such moments…and I wonder if I am teaching him bad habits.

Decisions

To be sure, my son—like his dad—does not need to witness sin in order to commit it. Moreover, “stupid” is not the worst English word out there. But the issue at hand is less one of word choice than of attitude. Mindlessly calling something “dumb” hints of unbiblical mindsets that might be critical, irritable, impatient, lazy, or unhelpful, to name a few.

Carefully choosing words that accurately convey the situation at hand does many positive things for you and your children. For example, if a storm causes an overnight power outage, impartially describing what happened will tell your kids that your self-control, joy, and peace do not depend on circumstances. Possibly they will even recognize that things could be worse or plans could be rescheduled.

I am not suggesting that we drop the word “stupid” completely from our vocabulary. After all, it appears twelve times in the English Standard Version of the Bible. Yet in these verses, the word generally refers to a chronic life pattern of godlessness, wickedness, or foolishness—which from God’s perspective truly are idiocy. See Proverbs 12, Isaiah 19, Jeremiah 4, and Jeremiah 10.

Strategies

But…the majority of my “stupid” comments are reactions, where merely seconds have transpired between the problem and the judgment. Training my mind to be thoughtful instead of rash can go a long way toward improving my attitude—and it is a goal God might honor with His help.

Be more careful than you think. Grunts, groans, and body language can say “stupid” just as much as real words. If our kids—and God—detect a poor attitude in us, we dads may need to exchange grumbling for “Oh well” or “Next time.”

Free tip: When we are tempted to call another person “dumb,” consider praying for them instead. It can be hard, but it can produce much fruit in your own life, and possibly theirs also.

Cautions

As you strive to be more like Christ, Satan may put more and bigger stumbling blocks in front of you. More subtly, he may appeal to your pride and say you are doing well, so why keep trying so hard.

Another tactic Satan uses is self-righteousness. As my attitude improves, I tend to notice attitude problems in others. I may look down on them, or, ironically, get upset with them. Either way, my focus departs from my own walk with God, which may revert to old ways and erase any progress made.

Gratitude

My son routinely identifies and repeats words or phrases out of the middle of spoken paragraphs. Thankfully, he has not picked up on my biased commentary yet, but his alertness is forcing me to scrutinize everything I say.

As an attitude issue, both my parenting and contentment in Christ are on trial here. Thus I rejoice that God gently has employed my smiling, giggling son to teach me this important lesson.