Strange Encounters in Uganda

Part 1

8 March 2005

After about half of our four or five mile trek, we rested for a time overlooking the majestic valley and lake below. Our hosts were socializing with some of their friends. One of the girls and I each had to relieve ourselves, so we asked where to find the nearest latrine.

Most Ugandans use latrines as their toilets, even in the cities, unless they are rich. Latrines are of kindred spirits to our outhouses—only they are permanent, and generally made of mud with a tin roof. They rarely have a seat. Moreover, we always had to carry toilet paper with us because few latrines ever had any. It is a different and generally smelly way to go—but then again, they never have to unclog their toilets, repair their pipes, or empty their sewers or septic tanks!

Anyway, Cassie went to the latrine first. When she returned, she told me I was going to have fun in there! When I found it, I was dumbfounded to see a four-foot high latrine. I not only could not stand up inside, I could not pee in any upright position whatever—I had to squat like a girl!

Most men in that neighborhood, I suppose, simply used the outdoors for number one. This would be no problem at home on my family ranch or hiking in the mountains. But here, it was not really an option. Plus, to cap off the event, ten or twelve youngsters were lined up nearby as I came out, shyly watching my every move. Ah, Uganda!

Part 2

27 February 2005

Most of the Ugandans I have met are fabulous folks. But there was this one guy…

My good friend Cassie and I were talking late one evening, sitting in the middle of the university basketball courts on the edge of campus. We had not been there long when a random, seemingly drunk man approached us out of nowhere.

He began telling us about how impoverished and run-down Uganda was. He told us to tell others in our home country about these problems. We already had witnessed a great deal of deprivation all over Uganda. Also, we had been planning to share with people back home about the plight of many Ugandans. This man was simply ordering us to do this for him.

He pointed randomly to the patched asphalt basketball courts as evidence for his case. This was a legitimate example, for Uganda Christian University was one of the finest in the country, and yet for its three thousand students it could only maintain one outdoor basketball court, complete with cracked asphalt and cement.

The man almost acted as if he had planned the entire show, as if he knew that two white students would be right there at 11:30 pm! He spoke loud, and sat close. But he was not mad or bellicose, and he stayed where he was. He was creepy, but probably harmless. I was on my guard the entire time, mostly for Cassie’s sake. She was, too, she told me afterward.

But nothing happened. Eventually, he got up still gesticulating wildly and talking with increased nonsense. Finally, he wandered off into the darkness and disappeared as quickly as he had come. You just never know who you might meet in Uganda near midnight on a basketball court!