Scripture says Isaac misled his family twice. First, he played favorites with his two sons, loving the older boy more than the younger. Rebekah made the same mistake, although the younger stole her heart. Whether this was accidental or intentional, and whether father or mother picked their favorite first, we may say that Isaac's bad example failed to help his wife out of her equally bad choice. Note how "God shows no partiality. But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him." (Acts 10)
Husbands' good or bad decisions may point their wives toward or away from God, respectively. And again, while Scripture commands wives, not husbands, to respect their spouse, a respected wife will get many more reminders and examples of being respectful in return. More importantly, by fulfilling God's commands to love our wives, and by going the extra mile of respecting them, we men can help our brides live obedient lives that please the Lord.
Too Much for Disney
Isaac's second sin that endangered his family was when a famine forced him to move to a foreign land, where he said his bride was his sister in Genesis 26. His faithless lie mimicked his father's lies in Genesis 12 and 20, and, just as in Abraham's two cases, the local king confronted Isaac about it. Yet other than advising against such a wrong and unwise path, Isaac's mistake is not central to our study.
The key verse in Genesis 26 shows that, even after at least 20 years of marriage (based on the apparent flow of time between chapters 25 and 26), Isaac offered his romance only, and intimately, to Rebekah. Isaac was "showing endearment to Rebekah his wife," according to the New King James Version. Other versions state that he was "sporting with" her, "caressing" her, "laughing with" her, or "fondling" her. Whatever Isaac's exact display of affection to Rebekah, the king saw them together and declared, "Quite obviously she is your wife."
We see three lessons from this humorous conundrum. First, since Isaac had lied about his wife, he had legal opportunities in the eyes of the people of the land to pursue a new lover. Only his wife, and God, could have protested. But Isaac took no such route -- quite the opposite given the flirtation scene. Respect? I think so.
Second, ponder the sentence structure. Subject (Isaac), action verb (showing endearment), direct object (to Rebekah). Isaac owns the situation: he gives, Rebekah receives...and both "quite obviously" enjoy it. Other English versions of the Bible retain the same structure. Obviously, the wife can initiate romance, too, but men hold the primary responsibility. And if you have ever felt respected by your bride approaching you intimately, you can trust she feels your admiration and devotion (i.e., respect) just as much.
Third, Isaac was focusing on his bride in foreplay, not just thinking of the pot of gold for himself. Since many women (or so I have read) love the pre-climax of sex at least as much as the climax itself, putting them first is sure to make them feel loved and respected as being more than just your source of pleasure. I won't confess how much I need to remember this myself! And again, they had aged two decades since their wedding night.
Proverbs 5 speaks to all three of these lessons -- in the same order. First, it commands a singular faithfulness to the gifts God has chosen for us:
Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
Second, it requires the husband to reach out to his wife:
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Third, Proverbs 5 encourages passionate romance -- centering on the husband -- and implies at the end that chasing other women fails to satisfy:
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
Bottom Line
The above phrase, "be enraptured with her love," is intriguing. My thesis asks men to exemplify God's call to women in marriage by respecting their wives -- after carrying out His call to men, which is to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Yet Proverbs 5 notices the bride's love -- not her biblically-mandated respect -- for her husband. So if (1) a husband's love conveys (2) respect for his wife, which (3) helps her respect him in return, then (4) he will "be enraptured with her love." Need I emphasize that "enraptured" is a very strong, very positive verb? The magical cycle begins with us.
Recall the Christ / Bridegroom - Church / Bride metaphor in Scripture: God, who "first loved us" (1 John 4), tends to our needs before asking anything from us in return. Husbands get a pretty straightforward job, both inside and outside the bedroom. But consider: it can be hard, yes? Then imagine, and try to describe, Jesus' difficulty in leaving heaven and suffering for us. Empowered by passion for the Father's glory and love, Jesus accomplished the most difficult task in history. With a similar passion, we can achieve easier goals.
Husbands' good or bad decisions may point their wives toward or away from God, respectively. And again, while Scripture commands wives, not husbands, to respect their spouse, a respected wife will get many more reminders and examples of being respectful in return. More importantly, by fulfilling God's commands to love our wives, and by going the extra mile of respecting them, we men can help our brides live obedient lives that please the Lord.
Too Much for Disney
Isaac's second sin that endangered his family was when a famine forced him to move to a foreign land, where he said his bride was his sister in Genesis 26. His faithless lie mimicked his father's lies in Genesis 12 and 20, and, just as in Abraham's two cases, the local king confronted Isaac about it. Yet other than advising against such a wrong and unwise path, Isaac's mistake is not central to our study.
The key verse in Genesis 26 shows that, even after at least 20 years of marriage (based on the apparent flow of time between chapters 25 and 26), Isaac offered his romance only, and intimately, to Rebekah. Isaac was "showing endearment to Rebekah his wife," according to the New King James Version. Other versions state that he was "sporting with" her, "caressing" her, "laughing with" her, or "fondling" her. Whatever Isaac's exact display of affection to Rebekah, the king saw them together and declared, "Quite obviously she is your wife."
We see three lessons from this humorous conundrum. First, since Isaac had lied about his wife, he had legal opportunities in the eyes of the people of the land to pursue a new lover. Only his wife, and God, could have protested. But Isaac took no such route -- quite the opposite given the flirtation scene. Respect? I think so.
Second, ponder the sentence structure. Subject (Isaac), action verb (showing endearment), direct object (to Rebekah). Isaac owns the situation: he gives, Rebekah receives...and both "quite obviously" enjoy it. Other English versions of the Bible retain the same structure. Obviously, the wife can initiate romance, too, but men hold the primary responsibility. And if you have ever felt respected by your bride approaching you intimately, you can trust she feels your admiration and devotion (i.e., respect) just as much.
Third, Isaac was focusing on his bride in foreplay, not just thinking of the pot of gold for himself. Since many women (or so I have read) love the pre-climax of sex at least as much as the climax itself, putting them first is sure to make them feel loved and respected as being more than just your source of pleasure. I won't confess how much I need to remember this myself! And again, they had aged two decades since their wedding night.
Proverbs 5 speaks to all three of these lessons -- in the same order. First, it commands a singular faithfulness to the gifts God has chosen for us:
Drink water from your own cistern,
And running water from your own well.
Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?
Let them be only your own,
And not for strangers with you.
Second, it requires the husband to reach out to his wife:
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
Third, Proverbs 5 encourages passionate romance -- centering on the husband -- and implies at the end that chasing other women fails to satisfy:
As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
And always be enraptured with her love.
For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
Bottom Line
The above phrase, "be enraptured with her love," is intriguing. My thesis asks men to exemplify God's call to women in marriage by respecting their wives -- after carrying out His call to men, which is to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Yet Proverbs 5 notices the bride's love -- not her biblically-mandated respect -- for her husband. So if (1) a husband's love conveys (2) respect for his wife, which (3) helps her respect him in return, then (4) he will "be enraptured with her love." Need I emphasize that "enraptured" is a very strong, very positive verb? The magical cycle begins with us.
Recall the Christ / Bridegroom - Church / Bride metaphor in Scripture: God, who "first loved us" (1 John 4), tends to our needs before asking anything from us in return. Husbands get a pretty straightforward job, both inside and outside the bedroom. But consider: it can be hard, yes? Then imagine, and try to describe, Jesus' difficulty in leaving heaven and suffering for us. Empowered by passion for the Father's glory and love, Jesus accomplished the most difficult task in history. With a similar passion, we can achieve easier goals.
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